i just had sex bonerless
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize