He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
