all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize