Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
