did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
