I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just lost a toe
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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