We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
