I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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