i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
