Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Your cock deserves a montage
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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