The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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