We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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