Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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