she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
