i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
