Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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