dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize