pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I didn't shave. On purpose
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
