i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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