oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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