Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
