I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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