I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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