I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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