Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
