Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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