"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
