i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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