Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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