okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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