singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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