actually, I'm a sock model
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
