I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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