Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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