Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
