I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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