doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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