Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
