it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
