I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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