Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
