can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
