Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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