it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
