butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
