Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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