you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
