Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
