I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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