and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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