I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
