So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
