dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
