piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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