I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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