You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
