i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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