Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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