there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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