Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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