It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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