I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
