There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Define "chronic" masturbator.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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